i wish time would stand still for a while.......
12-03-2005, 07:11 PM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Stuart, FL
Posts: 24,416
So I could catch up, this month has been no exception the general progression of my existance these past few months, or years or wut I dunno. I feel like I am on a downhill slide and just when I think I'm getting close to the bottom a cliff comes into view.
I hate that there always seems to be something that appears to be a kick in the nuts telling you that u need to put things into perspective, yet I feel I lack that ability at this point, like I need forward motion to stop for a few and give me some time to put things into perspective.
With the news of my captain's license not being approved because of my blood pressure, I felt pretty low and wasn't sure where to start again, left foot forward right?
My cousin calls me today to tell me that my youngest cousin has breast cancer and it's already spread through her body, so there's little that can be done. Now one would think that I would somehow have developed the tools to deal with sickness and death, my uncle died when I was 10 or 11, my grandparents shortly after, 2 years ago my aunt and my dad has been sick some with his kidney transplant and what not, but I don't. I don't have the gear to deal with or even know where to start. Kim was actually probably the relative I was closest to when I was young, in later years we grew apart, she is the youngest of any of my direct family, only 24.
I'm in a total funk, I am depressed and everything seems to get on my nerves...
I guess thats it.
I hate that there always seems to be something that appears to be a kick in the nuts telling you that u need to put things into perspective, yet I feel I lack that ability at this point, like I need forward motion to stop for a few and give me some time to put things into perspective.
With the news of my captain's license not being approved because of my blood pressure, I felt pretty low and wasn't sure where to start again, left foot forward right?
My cousin calls me today to tell me that my youngest cousin has breast cancer and it's already spread through her body, so there's little that can be done. Now one would think that I would somehow have developed the tools to deal with sickness and death, my uncle died when I was 10 or 11, my grandparents shortly after, 2 years ago my aunt and my dad has been sick some with his kidney transplant and what not, but I don't. I don't have the gear to deal with or even know where to start. Kim was actually probably the relative I was closest to when I was young, in later years we grew apart, she is the youngest of any of my direct family, only 24.
I'm in a total funk, I am depressed and everything seems to get on my nerves...
I guess thats it.
