Funny Work Stuff...
01-06-2003, 11:07 AM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ames, IA
Posts: 4,773
One of my toys at my office job is an online job board for the students at my school who are seeking employment. We used to have to manually enter all of the information for the jobs, but I wrote a program that takes all of the information from the email I receive from the webpage. Anyway, I hardly ever read the jobs before I add them, so this one slipped by me today...luckily I caught it later on:
Job Title: Girlfriend (1 position available)
Duties:
* Tolerating/enjoying my company on a daily basis
* Telling me that everything's okay when I fervently believe that it's not
* Holding my hand and helping me face the outside world
* Loving me for what I am as well as what I am not
* Teaching me exactly what it means to be a boyfriend
* Being there
Benefits:
* As many soft kisses as you desire
* Someone to listen
* A shoulder to cry on
* A date for Valentine's Day
* Someone to cuddle with while watching TV
* At least one anniversary present per year
* Opportunity for advancement
* Flexible hours
Requirements:
This position demands an English-speaking female between the ages of 19 and 24. A high school education is necessary, and current college students will be given preference. Redheads will unavoidably be given preference, but our hiring procedures are strictly color-blind. Previous experience is desirable but not necessary. All relevent previous employers must be disclosed, including any reasons for dismissal or resignation.
Please submit a resume via electronic or postal mail.
Pay Rate:
Free food, flowers and bowling
Anyway, compared to my usual boring database stuff, I found this pretty funny.
Job Title: Girlfriend (1 position available)
Duties:
* Tolerating/enjoying my company on a daily basis
* Telling me that everything's okay when I fervently believe that it's not
* Holding my hand and helping me face the outside world
* Loving me for what I am as well as what I am not
* Teaching me exactly what it means to be a boyfriend
* Being there
Benefits:
* As many soft kisses as you desire
* Someone to listen
* A shoulder to cry on
* A date for Valentine's Day
* Someone to cuddle with while watching TV
* At least one anniversary present per year
* Opportunity for advancement
* Flexible hours
Requirements:
This position demands an English-speaking female between the ages of 19 and 24. A high school education is necessary, and current college students will be given preference. Redheads will unavoidably be given preference, but our hiring procedures are strictly color-blind. Previous experience is desirable but not necessary. All relevent previous employers must be disclosed, including any reasons for dismissal or resignation.
Please submit a resume via electronic or postal mail.
Pay Rate:
Free food, flowers and bowling
Anyway, compared to my usual boring database stuff, I found this pretty funny.
01-06-2003, 11:42 AM
#4
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ames, IA
Posts: 4,773
Originally Posted by j9fd3s' date='Jan 6 2003, 12:33 PM
haha that a funny one, give us the addy so we can post wierd ads
mike
mike
01-06-2003, 11:45 AM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: California
Posts: 22,465
Originally Posted by UniqueTII' date='Jan 6 2003, 09:42 AM
[quote name='j9fd3s' date='Jan 6 2003, 12:33 PM'] haha that a funny one, give us the addy so we can post wierd ads
mike
mike
lmao.
wanted new boss
qualifications: um well nothing, must let me do what i want
mike
