Crap!
06-26-2004, 02:12 AM
#12
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Columbia IL/St. Louis MO
Posts: 2,748
no worse than the craph my folks buy. ******' bagged cereal. tastes the same though. but they always buy the generic ****** lucky charms ones! i hate lucky charms. cheerios is where it is at mothafuckas!
06-26-2004, 02:12 AM
#13
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
06-26-2004, 02:16 AM
#15
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: My BIG ol TURBO-DIESEL
Posts: 5,181
Mike D: They told me that the CIA killed JFK with the help of the FBI. Then agents flooded my town house and threw the cereal down the disposal. Or was that a dream? HEY! What's this syringe doing...in.....my.........ar.....m....sunshine.... .and.....lollypops......*THUNK
Jenny: My Rice Krispies are always babbling on about some cure for cancer and the reason why God would let innocent children die, but if I ask nicely they also tell me fantastic potluck recipes which make me the talk of the party every time!
Dave R.:
#!/usr/bin/perl -w use POSIX; srand; @bowl = (); $size_of_bowl = ceil(1000 +
rand(1000) + rand(1000) + rand(1000) + rand(1000)); $snap = "snap
";
$crackle = "crackle
"; $pop = "pop
"; while($size_of_bowl)
{ $choice = ceil(rand 3); if($choice == 1) { push(@bowl, $snap); }
elsif($choice == 2) { push(@bowl, $crackle); } elsif($choice == 3) {
push(@bowl, $pop); } $size_of_bowl--; } print $bowl[rand(@bowl)];
(Editor's Note: This is not a code error. This was honestly Dave's answer.)
Martin: "Kill Whitey!" I'm not sure why.
Lance: "EAT MOR CHIKIN! ... Oh wait, nevermind."
Jim: Rice Krispies scare me.... "Can't go to sleep! Snap, Crackle, and Pop will eat me!" That's what was whispering to me at night in the dining room...not ghosts but the Rice Krispies Kids... Hmmm... (Ed. Note: Just as some background info, after sleeping a few nights in the dining room while our mom repainted his room, Jim is now convinced that it is haunted.)
schickfam@gateway.net: "I HATE MORNINGS!!!"
Ed Hogan: I think they're singing Cher's hit ballad "Believe". Do you believe in life after love?
Aprilluv4@aol.com: all i hear is "la la la la la la..moo"
Jay Bruce: "42"
Anita Chapman: Shhhhh sshhhhhhhhhhhhhh sshhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhh Then I get very quiet, and I hear footsteps, slowly stealing past me out of the kitchen. Of course, seeing the box of Golden Grahams trying to sneak by, I grab it and pour them in the bowl, effectively shutting up the stupid little krispies that I don't like anyway and only eat when I think there aren't any Golden Grahams left . . .
Beth Goodman: When I lean my ear in and listen to my Rice Krispies, they say to me, "It's better to be a hammer than an anvil. Your lucky numbers are: 17 25 42 06 33 29." No wait, that was my latest, and worst, Chinese fortune cookie fortune. Usually, the Krispies say, "What the hell are you doing? If you think cereal can talk you've been smokin' too much of that wacky tobacky. You need to add milk first, and then maybe we'll talk."
MiLennyM@aol.com: Snap, Crackle..........................(Pop is re-negotiating his contract at this time, he's holding out for higher billing in the credits and more time off for side projects).
Mike Polkabla: My Rice Krispies tell me: 'Commercial music sucks! It has no "Snap", "Crackle", or "Pop". Buy Indie music!' Pretty sound advise from a cereal, huh?
Matt Del Duke: They tell me how they drink the milk right out of the carton as well as go through my personal belongings when I'm not home.
Anthony Rosato: Those good old Rice Krispies. When I was a young boy I would stash them under phones and in the teachers lounge. I would then collect them all and pour milk on them to hear what secrets they had to tell me. We had some good times, but that was when I was 9. Now I am 16 and those damn things just stopped talking to me. Maybe it's because i stopped eating them because they suck.
Lavheather@aol.com: In the wee hours of the morning my Rice Krispies say to me, "C'mon, call out sick today....you deserve a day off, you work so hard and it's sooooo early. No one has to know you're not REALLY ill."
Marlena: "C'mon, baby, give us some sugar.... a little more, yeah, just a little more. Just right, ahhhhhhhh." Of course, I wouldn't have to placate them with sugar before eating them if Kellogg's hadn't pulled the Frosted Rice Krispies off the shelf!
AcidVirus7: They aren't talking. They're drowning in the milk.
Mark: Don't know about the rest of the group but I find when I spin the bowl backwards I hear SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP say "Paul Is Really Dead." Oh crap that's the Beatles.....
Jack D: "Buy more cereal, buy more cereal, and what the hell is Pop's occupation?"
Jack D: "O.J. did it, he killed those people and tried to kill POP!, i know where the bloody cereal is!"
Stephen Smera: I distinctly heard "Snap, Crackle, F*ck Him!" (my apologies to George Carlin for BLATANTLY ripping him off)
John Slattery: My Rice Crispies say: " Eat us and you'll become a cereal-killer. " God, I can't stand breakfast food that puns
StarWarsAddict: My Rice Krispies told me my grandma was dead, and I called her, and she was still alive, but then the next day she died. This morning they told me that I was dead. Now I'm too scared to sleep.
Kit Wood: I usually hear multiple voices coming from my Rice Krispies, it usually goes like this: "What's you gonna play now? And the other says: "I dunno, but whatsnever I play, I gots to make it funky." And then the rest of the Krispies chime in: "Make it funky! Make it funky!" And then the second Rice Krispie usually says something along the lines of "God gawd, hit me!" And then the horn section comes in.
Kran Tobin: "I see dead people."
Chris King: "Burn them! Burn them all!"
The Blue Badger: My Rice Krispies tell me anything I want them to. I AM THE POPPING CRACKLEMASTER OF SNAPDOM! And no, that's not backwards. That's how it SHOULD have been in the first place. But did they listen to me? Nooooo. They were busy with their "corporate" meetings, and, to them, I was just some freak in a cardboard box with a pogostick. Well you know what I say? BLAME THE HAT!!
PoetDweler: My Rice Krispies usually say to me, "Shave your back, pluck your tongue, and call Samsonite. Now as the gophers multiply in numbers, there will be a dramatic increase in consentrated orange juice and suede patent rabbit underwear." After this brief monolog they get up and do the whole hHamletamlett play in reverse, speaking Hungarian. Normally then they berate and belittle me. Sometimes they do an encore presentation of "Purple Socks Will Come to Eat You Now in the Next 36 and a Half Hours." I don't know whether to be amused or frightened, help me!
Jack Lisa: I am fond of Frosted Flakes but, they are a belligerent bunch. I think that the glamour of a sugar coating has turned into conceit. Almost daily as I prepare to enjoy a quick bite before work I am berated by the flakes with comments like "I'll show you where to put that spoon Slappy." "2% milk? Gee, why don't you just pour sewage on us?" And the always unwelcome "We enjoyed being eaten by your girlfriend last night." Perhaps Wheaties would be more sensible.
Warren Sumner: My Rice Krispies are always telling me to kill my co-workers. Instead of going down my throat, they sneak into my brain and tell me to do evil things to them. I try not to listen but they are taking over......oh god, they are talking again.....the pain!!!!
Chris Berry: "We're going to Snap, Crackle, and Pop your ***, punk!"
Rox: "Huh?"
Phill G: My Rice Krispies tell me that Elvis, Andy Kaufman, Captin Crunch and Jimmy Hoffa are all living in the same aparment in Pine Hill, Alabama. They've lied before, but that's when I was using 1% milk. They've been a lot more honest since I've switched to chocolate. Or maybe it's just me...
Fletch Pettinos: My Rice Krispies tell me that cold water gets the blood out of a clown costume. I'm really not sure what they mean, though . . . everybody knows that hydrogen peroxide and clorox work much better on an infant's blood -- right? Hmmm, now they're telling me that I'm Dirk Diggler, and that the nuns at the nunnery say "no" when they really mean "Yes!" And then, Crackle keeps drifting off with things like, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." I wish they'd stop confusing me. I mean, they already tricked me with the whole, "Kill everyone on your subway car, and bring the heads back in a duffle bag!" They *still* haven't told me what to do with the bag yet, and it's still sitting in my tub. I'm *never* going to fall for *that* again . . . .
Mdriscoll: My Rice Krispies look up at me with a million pleading eyes and lament in a million little voices "Don't eat me! I have 6 kids and a lucrative pension plan. I'm booked at the orthadontist next tuesday! Spare me!' So I eat 3 bowlfuls.
Mark Brockman: So far, the I have not detected any discernable message beyond the string of prime numbers being repeated every 8 seconds.
Cristina Sanchez: My Rice Krispies cry out in horror "You are a squid"!!!!!
JthreeLelevenS: They yell "Ketzutu etza ana thama! Te una abria thishkachun ya thigh thama!!!" and then they start bleeding.
Chuck Ringoringo: Mine tell me that "SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OUT OF PEOPLE!"
Travis Almandinger: "Marco ........ Polo!"
Disturbed One: My rice crispies tell me that I shouldnt have to worry about wearing clothes, They sometimes inconclusively ramble on about themselves being naked and instead of eating them, to just go outside naked And find a sizable object to hump.
tim8266: I have assembled a hit squad for the "rice punks"....the team will consist of the Leprechaun (Lucky Charms), Silly Rabbit (Trix are for kids), and Cap'n Crunch (Explains itself). There is not a chance in hell those little "rice punks" will prevail.....However, in the event they give this squad any trouble. A friend of my cousin has an aunt that knows someone who has close contact with Sonny? The Cocoa Puffs bird (mean bird). He can be the clean up man. SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP? time to DIE!
Clay Jenkinson: Ohhh, so those are the little voices I've been hearing...
Jareth Kelly: WE WILL BURY YOU....BURY YOU ALL
Timothy Blunt: My rice krispies say "The secret plans are hidden in the........ AAAARRRGGH!"
Kasia Wtorek: They say, "Snap, Crackle, Pop - Kellogs Rice Krispies!" What else would they say? What's with all the conspiracy theories? They sound much like my Special K.
Jenny: My Rice Krispies are always babbling on about some cure for cancer and the reason why God would let innocent children die, but if I ask nicely they also tell me fantastic potluck recipes which make me the talk of the party every time!
Dave R.:
#!/usr/bin/perl -w use POSIX; srand; @bowl = (); $size_of_bowl = ceil(1000 +
rand(1000) + rand(1000) + rand(1000) + rand(1000)); $snap = "snap
";
$crackle = "crackle
"; $pop = "pop
"; while($size_of_bowl)
{ $choice = ceil(rand 3); if($choice == 1) { push(@bowl, $snap); }
elsif($choice == 2) { push(@bowl, $crackle); } elsif($choice == 3) {
push(@bowl, $pop); } $size_of_bowl--; } print $bowl[rand(@bowl)];
(Editor's Note: This is not a code error. This was honestly Dave's answer.)
Martin: "Kill Whitey!" I'm not sure why.
Lance: "EAT MOR CHIKIN! ... Oh wait, nevermind."
Jim: Rice Krispies scare me.... "Can't go to sleep! Snap, Crackle, and Pop will eat me!" That's what was whispering to me at night in the dining room...not ghosts but the Rice Krispies Kids... Hmmm... (Ed. Note: Just as some background info, after sleeping a few nights in the dining room while our mom repainted his room, Jim is now convinced that it is haunted.)
schickfam@gateway.net: "I HATE MORNINGS!!!"
Ed Hogan: I think they're singing Cher's hit ballad "Believe". Do you believe in life after love?
Aprilluv4@aol.com: all i hear is "la la la la la la..moo"
Jay Bruce: "42"
Anita Chapman: Shhhhh sshhhhhhhhhhhhhh sshhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhh Then I get very quiet, and I hear footsteps, slowly stealing past me out of the kitchen. Of course, seeing the box of Golden Grahams trying to sneak by, I grab it and pour them in the bowl, effectively shutting up the stupid little krispies that I don't like anyway and only eat when I think there aren't any Golden Grahams left . . .
Beth Goodman: When I lean my ear in and listen to my Rice Krispies, they say to me, "It's better to be a hammer than an anvil. Your lucky numbers are: 17 25 42 06 33 29." No wait, that was my latest, and worst, Chinese fortune cookie fortune. Usually, the Krispies say, "What the hell are you doing? If you think cereal can talk you've been smokin' too much of that wacky tobacky. You need to add milk first, and then maybe we'll talk."
MiLennyM@aol.com: Snap, Crackle..........................(Pop is re-negotiating his contract at this time, he's holding out for higher billing in the credits and more time off for side projects).
Mike Polkabla: My Rice Krispies tell me: 'Commercial music sucks! It has no "Snap", "Crackle", or "Pop". Buy Indie music!' Pretty sound advise from a cereal, huh?
Matt Del Duke: They tell me how they drink the milk right out of the carton as well as go through my personal belongings when I'm not home.
Anthony Rosato: Those good old Rice Krispies. When I was a young boy I would stash them under phones and in the teachers lounge. I would then collect them all and pour milk on them to hear what secrets they had to tell me. We had some good times, but that was when I was 9. Now I am 16 and those damn things just stopped talking to me. Maybe it's because i stopped eating them because they suck.
Lavheather@aol.com: In the wee hours of the morning my Rice Krispies say to me, "C'mon, call out sick today....you deserve a day off, you work so hard and it's sooooo early. No one has to know you're not REALLY ill."
Marlena: "C'mon, baby, give us some sugar.... a little more, yeah, just a little more. Just right, ahhhhhhhh." Of course, I wouldn't have to placate them with sugar before eating them if Kellogg's hadn't pulled the Frosted Rice Krispies off the shelf!
AcidVirus7: They aren't talking. They're drowning in the milk.
Mark: Don't know about the rest of the group but I find when I spin the bowl backwards I hear SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP say "Paul Is Really Dead." Oh crap that's the Beatles.....
Jack D: "Buy more cereal, buy more cereal, and what the hell is Pop's occupation?"
Jack D: "O.J. did it, he killed those people and tried to kill POP!, i know where the bloody cereal is!"
Stephen Smera: I distinctly heard "Snap, Crackle, F*ck Him!" (my apologies to George Carlin for BLATANTLY ripping him off)
John Slattery: My Rice Crispies say: " Eat us and you'll become a cereal-killer. " God, I can't stand breakfast food that puns
StarWarsAddict: My Rice Krispies told me my grandma was dead, and I called her, and she was still alive, but then the next day she died. This morning they told me that I was dead. Now I'm too scared to sleep.
Kit Wood: I usually hear multiple voices coming from my Rice Krispies, it usually goes like this: "What's you gonna play now? And the other says: "I dunno, but whatsnever I play, I gots to make it funky." And then the rest of the Krispies chime in: "Make it funky! Make it funky!" And then the second Rice Krispie usually says something along the lines of "God gawd, hit me!" And then the horn section comes in.
Kran Tobin: "I see dead people."
Chris King: "Burn them! Burn them all!"
The Blue Badger: My Rice Krispies tell me anything I want them to. I AM THE POPPING CRACKLEMASTER OF SNAPDOM! And no, that's not backwards. That's how it SHOULD have been in the first place. But did they listen to me? Nooooo. They were busy with their "corporate" meetings, and, to them, I was just some freak in a cardboard box with a pogostick. Well you know what I say? BLAME THE HAT!!
PoetDweler: My Rice Krispies usually say to me, "Shave your back, pluck your tongue, and call Samsonite. Now as the gophers multiply in numbers, there will be a dramatic increase in consentrated orange juice and suede patent rabbit underwear." After this brief monolog they get up and do the whole hHamletamlett play in reverse, speaking Hungarian. Normally then they berate and belittle me. Sometimes they do an encore presentation of "Purple Socks Will Come to Eat You Now in the Next 36 and a Half Hours." I don't know whether to be amused or frightened, help me!
Jack Lisa: I am fond of Frosted Flakes but, they are a belligerent bunch. I think that the glamour of a sugar coating has turned into conceit. Almost daily as I prepare to enjoy a quick bite before work I am berated by the flakes with comments like "I'll show you where to put that spoon Slappy." "2% milk? Gee, why don't you just pour sewage on us?" And the always unwelcome "We enjoyed being eaten by your girlfriend last night." Perhaps Wheaties would be more sensible.
Warren Sumner: My Rice Krispies are always telling me to kill my co-workers. Instead of going down my throat, they sneak into my brain and tell me to do evil things to them. I try not to listen but they are taking over......oh god, they are talking again.....the pain!!!!
Chris Berry: "We're going to Snap, Crackle, and Pop your ***, punk!"
Rox: "Huh?"
Phill G: My Rice Krispies tell me that Elvis, Andy Kaufman, Captin Crunch and Jimmy Hoffa are all living in the same aparment in Pine Hill, Alabama. They've lied before, but that's when I was using 1% milk. They've been a lot more honest since I've switched to chocolate. Or maybe it's just me...
Fletch Pettinos: My Rice Krispies tell me that cold water gets the blood out of a clown costume. I'm really not sure what they mean, though . . . everybody knows that hydrogen peroxide and clorox work much better on an infant's blood -- right? Hmmm, now they're telling me that I'm Dirk Diggler, and that the nuns at the nunnery say "no" when they really mean "Yes!" And then, Crackle keeps drifting off with things like, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." I wish they'd stop confusing me. I mean, they already tricked me with the whole, "Kill everyone on your subway car, and bring the heads back in a duffle bag!" They *still* haven't told me what to do with the bag yet, and it's still sitting in my tub. I'm *never* going to fall for *that* again . . . .
Mdriscoll: My Rice Krispies look up at me with a million pleading eyes and lament in a million little voices "Don't eat me! I have 6 kids and a lucrative pension plan. I'm booked at the orthadontist next tuesday! Spare me!' So I eat 3 bowlfuls.
Mark Brockman: So far, the I have not detected any discernable message beyond the string of prime numbers being repeated every 8 seconds.
Cristina Sanchez: My Rice Krispies cry out in horror "You are a squid"!!!!!
JthreeLelevenS: They yell "Ketzutu etza ana thama! Te una abria thishkachun ya thigh thama!!!" and then they start bleeding.
Chuck Ringoringo: Mine tell me that "SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OUT OF PEOPLE!"
Travis Almandinger: "Marco ........ Polo!"
Disturbed One: My rice crispies tell me that I shouldnt have to worry about wearing clothes, They sometimes inconclusively ramble on about themselves being naked and instead of eating them, to just go outside naked And find a sizable object to hump.
tim8266: I have assembled a hit squad for the "rice punks"....the team will consist of the Leprechaun (Lucky Charms), Silly Rabbit (Trix are for kids), and Cap'n Crunch (Explains itself). There is not a chance in hell those little "rice punks" will prevail.....However, in the event they give this squad any trouble. A friend of my cousin has an aunt that knows someone who has close contact with Sonny? The Cocoa Puffs bird (mean bird). He can be the clean up man. SNAP, CRACKLE, & POP? time to DIE!
Clay Jenkinson: Ohhh, so those are the little voices I've been hearing...
Jareth Kelly: WE WILL BURY YOU....BURY YOU ALL
Timothy Blunt: My rice krispies say "The secret plans are hidden in the........ AAAARRRGGH!"
Kasia Wtorek: They say, "Snap, Crackle, Pop - Kellogs Rice Krispies!" What else would they say? What's with all the conspiracy theories? They sound much like my Special K.
