Eric Happy Meal

allright, this morning when i woke up i had to crap but i was late so i figured with luck i would last till lunch when i can actually go home and let it off. (dont like crappin at school) so i faked sick after first period because it was getting too much to bare. called my dad and he said to go another period and see if im still sick. so next period im at the nurse again and so i can go home. and then about halfway home i realized that i wasnt going to make it at all. so i decided to floor it until i got home. (between one half and a mile distance) and i get three streets away and the cop puts his lights on, so i pull over. i noticed it was my dare officer from back in elementary school. he also lives down the street from me. so as soon as he stepped out of the car i leaned out of my window and said "Officer Dean, i know i was speeding but i really really really really need to take a crap, so can i please go to my house and you can give me the ticket afterwards because im going to crap my pants if we dont!" and he said "uhmm, allright" so when i get home and did my busniess (it was pretty crazy, almost diaroo) he wasnt around anymore so i looked around my car to see if he left a ticket or whatever but there wasnt any.

Baldy

that's smart, I've always thought about using that excuse, whether or not it's true.



"but officer, I'm about to **** my pants!!!" Comon, nobody wants to see that.

BoostedRex

All time classic!!!! That was the funniest thing I have heard all day. Thanx for sharing.

4RotorRocket

That was cool I guess whats with the cops today.I went to court this morning for a wreckless driving ticket and I gave a good explanation and the judge said "well said" then looked at the cop who issued the ticket.Then the cop said "I think we should do the essay write up".Anyway it turned out that it was dismissed and I have to write a 500 word essay about why I should drive safe and pay a $60 fee instead of the tickets $200 fee for wreckless driving.No points on my drivers liecence.Hell ya!

Eric Happy Meal

i only think it worked because i knew the guy and he knew where i lived. otherwise im not sure at all what would have happened.

donhayes

why don't you just suck it up and crap at school. they clean the toilet seats every day. dont be a **** break like in american pie

Eric Happy Meal

my schools VERY crowded and theres always at least two people in each bathroom. and i dont know about you but i dont want people to know its me making some huge crap in the bathroom. especially since theyd end up telling everyone they knew if im near them.

cymfc3s

you need "Oops I crapped my pants"!!

j9fd3s

theres **** everywhere!

ioTus

step 1: The foreplay:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Un-roll about 18" of tiolet paper. put along one side of the seat.

repeat for the opposite side.



step 2: Let it loose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sit down on your now clean toilet seat, and let it loose. Go like you've never gone before. If the noises of your regular bowel movements are not enough, you can augment it by making farty noises with your mouth.



step 3: the aftermath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By now the entire school knows your amazing bowel capabilities. Never again will they mess with you, oh master of the porcelain throne. Your peers will look at you through new eyes, regarding you as some form of a minor god. People will start holding doors for you, cleaning seats before you sit down, and saluting you in the halls. Enjoy the new life presented to you.



But yeah. Nice way to get out of a ticket man.