Another Girfriend Thread!
02-12-2004, 01:36 AM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chattanooga
Posts: 175
I have been going out with this girl for 3 years now and I think she has been messing around on me for a while now. not sure how long maybe a couple months or so. She denies everything, but the way she has been acting for months now has got me concerned. What is the best way to find out if she is playing me?
02-12-2004, 02:37 AM
#4
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 1,145
Go with your gut instinct. There is not sure fire way of finding out with 100% certainty that shes cheating except if you hire a private-i. From your post, its obvious that you don't trust her. You need to sit down with her and have a serious discussion. "I feel like i can't trust you because of xyz." "When you do xyz i feel like xyz." You get the picture? Don't accuse her of cheating, but if she has acted differently recently, confront her on it. Ask her why things are different. By you being suspicious of her, you have begun to treat the relationship differently now. You're aiding in the demise of the relationship, perhaps without knowing it. Self-fullfilling prophecy. I cannot stress how important trust is in a healthy relationship.
-Seth
The Ladies Man
-Seth
The Ladies Man
02-12-2004, 02:58 AM
#5
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chattanooga
Posts: 175
Thanks for the reply.
ok, its weird. its basically like she has lost interest in me...I try lots of things to cheer her up and make her happy and nothing has seemed to work. she used to be a freaking nympho...which is awsome, but letely its been ****...like once a week or less. she says its about opportunity since she still lives at home and I live at home at the moment. she doesnt feel comfortable at my place and obviously not at her place. Ive got an ford expedition that, believe me, has planty of room for the nasty. The thing is that none of these places used to bother her and I think she is using it as an excuse now like a women with a headache. Thanks to anyone who comments.
-Sean
ok, its weird. its basically like she has lost interest in me...I try lots of things to cheer her up and make her happy and nothing has seemed to work. she used to be a freaking nympho...which is awsome, but letely its been ****...like once a week or less. she says its about opportunity since she still lives at home and I live at home at the moment. she doesnt feel comfortable at my place and obviously not at her place. Ive got an ford expedition that, believe me, has planty of room for the nasty. The thing is that none of these places used to bother her and I think she is using it as an excuse now like a women with a headache. Thanks to anyone who comments.
-Sean
02-12-2004, 04:15 AM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: WA
Posts: 1,312
Its like this... i was a pro at stealing girlfriends, i know how it works 
I was a bad guy ...
anyways, if i was a guy and i saw your girl and wanted her, i was begin to talk to her. Once i found out she had a boyfriend of 3 years thats almost like a free pass...
it goes ALOT deeper than this, but girls like projects. Once a girl is done with you or is no longer attracted to you, she will stay with you until she finds another guy. Girls are like monkeys, they wont let go of one branch until they grab another.
If she has little or no interest in having sex, talking, being around, and is acting 'strange', etc... something big is obviously up. I've watched MANY girls lie to their boyfriends about this type of deal. And believe me, they arent creative and they all do the exact same things. Chances are she has found another guy that has caught her attention. You are no longer desireable to her, and chances of getting her to like you again will most likely fail unless you know how a girl thinks.
My advice to you, is like cym said, sit her down and ask her about it. I personally would ask her straight out if she was messing around with other guys. That way she has no little sneaky loop hole to claim she never 'lied' .. etc. Girls are good at that. But after that, the only way to really find out is to tap her phones, watch her computer, follow her around, etc.. basically be a creepy stalker for a day or 2. Then you will know for sure ... girls are sneaky, and believe me, even the ones that say they will NEVER cheat and have been with their boyfriends for years and years .... THEY ALL CHEAT. its sad.
i'll tell her to go kick rocks.
I was a bad guy ... anyways, if i was a guy and i saw your girl and wanted her, i was begin to talk to her. Once i found out she had a boyfriend of 3 years thats almost like a free pass...
it goes ALOT deeper than this, but girls like projects. Once a girl is done with you or is no longer attracted to you, she will stay with you until she finds another guy. Girls are like monkeys, they wont let go of one branch until they grab another.
If she has little or no interest in having sex, talking, being around, and is acting 'strange', etc... something big is obviously up. I've watched MANY girls lie to their boyfriends about this type of deal. And believe me, they arent creative and they all do the exact same things. Chances are she has found another guy that has caught her attention. You are no longer desireable to her, and chances of getting her to like you again will most likely fail unless you know how a girl thinks.
My advice to you, is like cym said, sit her down and ask her about it. I personally would ask her straight out if she was messing around with other guys. That way she has no little sneaky loop hole to claim she never 'lied' .. etc. Girls are good at that. But after that, the only way to really find out is to tap her phones, watch her computer, follow her around, etc.. basically be a creepy stalker for a day or 2. Then you will know for sure ... girls are sneaky, and believe me, even the ones that say they will NEVER cheat and have been with their boyfriends for years and years .... THEY ALL CHEAT. its sad.
i'll tell her to go kick rocks.
02-12-2004, 07:11 AM
#7
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 421
Let me take a little different stance on this....
You have been with this girl for three years, she now is no longer interested in sex and blames it on an opportunity issue.
Maybe she is just bored of what you two are doing and you should take the initiative to change things a little. Maybe she does not want to have sex in the back of a pick up truck or whatever. Maybe she does not like the idea of constantly needing to look out if someone is going to walk in on the two of you.
It has been 3 years, man. That is a long time of doing the same thing over and over. Maybe she is just plain bored of the same thing.
Go away together somewhere if possible. Take her some place different. Stir the pot a little. How old are the two of you? Maybe she wants to now be treated by you like a woman and not a ***** (Sex in the back of a car or pick up...You know it is fun for a lark but....). I say that not to be mean or ugly but maybe that is what she is looking for from you. If you do not give it to her than like other guys have said on this thread, she WILL go elsewhere looking for it. Obviously there is something between you two for her to be with you for 3 years. Sit down and talk to her like adults. Don't accuse or anything. Find out what is on her mind and try to change things.
You have been with this girl for three years, she now is no longer interested in sex and blames it on an opportunity issue.
Maybe she is just bored of what you two are doing and you should take the initiative to change things a little. Maybe she does not want to have sex in the back of a pick up truck or whatever. Maybe she does not like the idea of constantly needing to look out if someone is going to walk in on the two of you.
It has been 3 years, man. That is a long time of doing the same thing over and over. Maybe she is just plain bored of the same thing.
Go away together somewhere if possible. Take her some place different. Stir the pot a little. How old are the two of you? Maybe she wants to now be treated by you like a woman and not a ***** (Sex in the back of a car or pick up...You know it is fun for a lark but....). I say that not to be mean or ugly but maybe that is what she is looking for from you. If you do not give it to her than like other guys have said on this thread, she WILL go elsewhere looking for it. Obviously there is something between you two for her to be with you for 3 years. Sit down and talk to her like adults. Don't accuse or anything. Find out what is on her mind and try to change things.
02-12-2004, 07:19 AM
#8
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Central KY
Posts: 292
Do you all live together? I busted my ex-wife by using some poor mans surveliance techniques.
Get the security code from her anwering machine if you live seperate. The default is usually 1-2-3. Dial her number one day and after the beep dial 1-2-3 then you will be prompted to change this or that or to listen. This way you can check her messages remotely before she gets a chance to. Record them! but don't delete them, you could have the goose tha lays the golden eggs, don't blow it by alterting her.
Get the security code to her cellular phones voice mail. Record them too!
Install a key stroke recorder onto her computer to get her email password. Forward the good stuff to your address and cover your tracks.
If she lives with you there is this thing that radio shack sells that you plug into any phone jack along with a tape recorder and it records any inbound and outbound conversations without alerting anyone. You can listen to the phone conversations at your leisure.
If you turn up some juicy audio evidence then make her a CD and play it for her while your driving somewhere
Go for a long drive in the country before you start playing it so she has no option but to LISTEN or GET OUT and walk her ***** *** back to civilization
I busted my ex dead to rights and she only admitted to it after the divorce. Even after I had recorded intimate conversations and YES I did put them on CD and she still tried to deny it.
On the other hand though, if she is not cheating but just unhappy you will drive her to cheat on you or leave you if you continue to confront her. Just do what you have to do behind the scenes and act like the happy boyfriend to her face.
I know it sounds cold hearted but be prepared to walk. Unless you have an insecurity complex and you are imagining this stuff she is prolly cheating...
good luck mang
Get the security code from her anwering machine if you live seperate. The default is usually 1-2-3. Dial her number one day and after the beep dial 1-2-3 then you will be prompted to change this or that or to listen. This way you can check her messages remotely before she gets a chance to. Record them! but don't delete them, you could have the goose tha lays the golden eggs, don't blow it by alterting her.
Get the security code to her cellular phones voice mail. Record them too!
Install a key stroke recorder onto her computer to get her email password. Forward the good stuff to your address and cover your tracks.
If she lives with you there is this thing that radio shack sells that you plug into any phone jack along with a tape recorder and it records any inbound and outbound conversations without alerting anyone. You can listen to the phone conversations at your leisure.
If you turn up some juicy audio evidence then make her a CD and play it for her while your driving somewhere
I busted my ex dead to rights and she only admitted to it after the divorce. Even after I had recorded intimate conversations and YES I did put them on CD and she still tried to deny it.
On the other hand though, if she is not cheating but just unhappy you will drive her to cheat on you or leave you if you continue to confront her. Just do what you have to do behind the scenes and act like the happy boyfriend to her face.
I know it sounds cold hearted but be prepared to walk. Unless you have an insecurity complex and you are imagining this stuff she is prolly cheating...
good luck mang
02-12-2004, 08:08 AM
#10
Super Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 5,425
If sex is your only reason for concern, go on vacation. Go camping, stay at a hotel, whatever. When you have nothing to do all day but hand out with each other, in a room with a bed, things happen .
But go with the talk first, if you think it's more than just the "bored of sex" thing.
But go with the talk first, if you think it's more than just the "bored of sex" thing.