An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar.

They are having a good time and all agree that the bar

is a nice place.



Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but

where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one.

At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink,

and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"



The others agree that sounds like a nice place.



Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but

where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn,

there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink,

Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys

you anudda drink."



Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.



Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where

I come from, there's this place called Warshowski's. At

Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you

your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then,

they take you in the back and get you laid!"



"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that

actually happen to you?"



"No," replies the Polish guy, "but it happened to my sister!"

true story!

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.



When I was 16, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no

passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.



In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.

Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, she cried all

the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some

stability.



I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally

predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so

dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.



I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She

rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did

mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me

miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and

very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some

ambition.



I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on

the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced

me and took everything I owned.



Now all I want is a girl with large breasts.

haha, so true!