And then the fight started!









My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She

asked, 'What's on TV?'



I said, 'Dust.'



And then the fight started...

******************************************



My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were

in bed... I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she

answered.



I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me

this time, simply saying, "Yes.."



So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."



And then the fight started....

******************************************



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed

the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.. I hooked up the boat up

to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The

wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the

radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back

into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled

up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,

"The weather out there is terrible..." My loving wife of 10 years

replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"



And then the fight started.....

******************************************



I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,

well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT

HAPPY!!!"



So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"



And then the fight started.....

*****************************************



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3

seconds.'



I bought her a scale.



And then the fight started...

******************************************



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive...



so, I took her to a gas station.



And then the fight started...



******************************************



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.



My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'



'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend... I understand she took to

drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

hasn't been sober since.'



'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?'



And then the fight started...



******************************************



I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my

order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."



He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"



Nah, she can order for herself."



And then the fight started...



******************************************



A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not

happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I

look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'



The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'





And then the fight started.....

sweet

lmao!



this is true; my parents took a vacation in turkey, and before they left mom was taking off her wedding ring, and the other one, and they had worn each other out.



so i said, when the wedding ring wears out, are you and dad not married anymore?



while they were gone, he got her a new ring....