NoPistons -Mazda Rx7 & Rx8 Rotary Forum

Okay, a number of you probably remember my recent post about some person painting on my windshield, "Police to tow. 02-14-05." A local constable came by, at my request, and pointed out that the local township requires a parking sticker. I purchased them and afixed them to the cars.

Well, three days later, my windshield is once again painted, "Police to tow. 02-21-05." That was yesterday, and I had the day off. A day I spent wrenching on the Mini. No policeman or tow truck even pulled into the lot. But one of my neighbors was out wrenching on his Jaguar and we talked abit. His car has not ventured out this parking lot in 5 years! He just got it running yesterday. He keeps it in this lot because his wife has forbade him park it near her house ever again. I asked if he had had similar trouble from the parking police. He told me he doubted that the police were painting my windshield but, rather, it was one of the local old biddies that are always griefing about the parking situation in the neighborhood...despite the fact that most of them do not own cars.

Hmmmmmmmm.

So I set up "The Sting."

As I left to work at 0515 this morning, I put this note under the windshield wiper of the Mini:

"To the person who keeps painting on my car: As you read this note, you are being videotaped. If you have had the audacity to pluck this note from my windshield, I imagine you are the same person who has been committing this vandalism. I hope you have your paintpen in hand and in clear view.

If you are a police officer, please be so kind as to telephone me at ***-**** and let me know what I can do to fix whatever problem there seems to be with my parking my car directly behind my own home. If you are NOT a police officer, you will be visited by a police officer very soon. The windshield you are defacing is over 33 years old and does not stand up well to constant scraping and acetone cleaning. I am sure you do not want to buy me a new windshield.

Now, look at the upstairs window in the back of the green house directly in front of this car. See that video camera up there? This tape is destined for the local police (if you are not, in fact, a police officer) and they will contend with your repeated acts of vandalism.

If you are neither a police officer nor the vandal, please be so kind as to replace this note underneath the wiper so the intended recipient may find it.

Thank you for not molesting this antique car any longer."

Well, my fellow car enthusiast was right on the money. One of my busybody old lady neighbors was the culprit. Caught her on tape with the paintpen in hand and a pretty guilty look on her mug as she stared right at the camera!!!!!

I did not take the tape to the police, rather I am going to keep it as insurance against future automotive arrivals I am expecting. I hope she jumps out of her skin every time the doorbell rings. If this bat doesn't like the cars, she can start answering to the authorities for her problem. Something I failed to mention in my original post is that she has been marking on my tires with this pen in imitation of police "park mark" chalking. Not just on the treadface but up on the sidewalls as well. A much greater pain to remove paint from tire sidewalls than from glass and not very good for the tires. (this, I admit, had aroused my suspicions)

But better than foiling this miscreant was the incredible belly laugh I got watching the tape as she came to the passage about looking at the window. The look on her face was a spastic mixture of anger, fear and stupifaction that I just had to rewind and watch again several times over. She never even gained the presence of mind to conceal the paintpen she had gripped in her rheumy, wrinkled old claw!

Ah, when life gives you lemons, force those you hate to eat them raw!