Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing

basketball at the gym.



His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she

takes him to a local strip club.





The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?"



His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.



"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team"



When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and

brings over a Budweiser.



His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,

"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"



"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."



A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave,

starts to rub herself all over him and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual

table dance, big boy?"



Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.



Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the

door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the

stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having

none of

it.



She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4

letter word in the book.





The cabby turns his head and says,"Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch

tonight".

A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates and

> said, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is

> yours for the asking."

>

> The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm

> and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep

> on.

>

> " God said, "Say no more." Instantly, the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

>

> A few days later six mice were killed in an accident and they all went

> to heaven together. God met the mice at the gates of heaven with the

> same offer that he made the cat.

>

> The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs

> and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little

> roller-skates, we would never have to run again." God answered, "It is

> done." All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.

>

> About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her

> sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and

> asked, "Is everything OK? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

>

> The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy

> in my life! My pillow is fluffy, and those little Meals-On-Wheels you have

> been sending over are delicious."

Damm, Poor Dave. What are the odds of getting the same cab driver too.

I like the first one better.

I gave up after 300

Dave's an idiot, he should have said he didn't want to go to the strip club.

Wow, that's the true canadian sport. Blackfly hunting.

Hahaha!