I write this not in response to Baldy's post, I was going to before he write it, but it does have some bearing.



Well there is always things to focus on that will bring you down, always a negative aspect, I could list several in my life which would highlight it's imperfections, but that's what makes life so good, it's imperfections to some extent.



Why does it seem that "When it rains it pours"? Simple, it's a matter of perception, when it rains it pours because it only took that one thing, that final straw to make us focus on ALL the negativity in our lives.



There's always negative aspects to focus on and sure I have a habit of doing that sometimes, it's hard not to. There's some good to focus on, take Baldy for example, bro you could not have the headache at all, no wife, no kid to worry about "letting down".... life wouldn't be so good would it?



Everytime I hit some sort of milestone in my life it causes me to reflect a bit and why not we learn from our past, relish it, but be careful don't spend your future trying to live your past, it's just that.... The Past.



What brought about my moment of reflection? Well yesterday was Amy and I's 2 year anniversary, usually we spend that date in some foreign country, free of stress and worry, but this year was different, no money, jobs to work, but still a happy day. I met her for lunch, then my dad for a beer and a cigar, while we sat in the sun and watched the Blue Angels "Takin on last shot at heaven, while they slipstream through paradise." Simple things should make you happy. Not the bullshit that other people have it worse, I can't stand that. Am I supposed to relish and enjoy other people misery? I hope not, what does that saying even mean? The point is, be happy with what you got, try to focus on the positive aspects and when there aren't any, take some time to relish the past and look forward to the future.



Maybe it's just me, but today I am happy for what I have, the life and good times I have lived and hopefully the many more to come.

Good stuff Phins.. Very true..

Well said.

Well I'm sorry it isn't a little better organized, it is basically a random group of thoughts, so I didn't put them together all that well, but they get the point of what I was trying to say accross.

things also like to happen in threes, so it does pour.



i'm kind of a glass is half full guy myself

Yea? I think it's a matter of perception. You could prolly find 3 negative aspects in your life on any one day, sometimes it just takes you that one thing to make you focus on them.

thanks, phins. It really does help to focus on the positives, and what I have, as opposed to what I don't have. Just making a list in my head right now is already making me feel blessed to live the life that I'm living.



I don't know if you're planning on parenthood, but it seems to me that you're going to make a great father/mentor/role model.

i dont like relish. but i liked and agree with what u said. im always like that. i try to focus on the most insignifacnt positive things as opposed to negative stuff. it just makes life that much better when u do..

Events vs. non-events. This thread is high in social psychology. https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...#>/biggrin.png



Staying positive can get tough at times, but it's the only way for me.

i got that from the book "Chaos: Making a New Science"...



mike

Those "insignificant" positive things really help me out. There is nothing (NOTHING!) like coming home, and I hear my 18-month-old say "daddy!" before he even sees me.

LOL no kids on the map at this point.



I don't really posses any grand wisdom, most of what I have learned in life has come from my mistakes. For every mistake I've made I've taken away something, I think that's the most important thing in life, it's progress. Some lessons are more costly then others, some even alter our personality forever or our outlook on life, but success is walking away with that lesson learned and doing everything possible to keep it from happening again.



We can't learn from our parents mistakes or anyone else for that matter. In fact if we could, think how boring life would be. It's taken sometime for me to come to a point where I no longer dwell on the negative, it always does more harm then good.



You want my advice on the money situation? Never let money come between your wife and you, it's one of the quickest things that will divide you. Money is nothing, you and your wife and your child could be just as happy without. That said, on your money deal, I hate to borrow from family too, but that's what family is all about, helping eachother out when you can. My guess is if her parents have planty of money they don't mind helping out when needed, you probably see it as failure, they prolly see it as "the kids are growing up, but they still need us" and there's nothing wrong with that, it doesn't make you a failure or a bad person.... makes you HUMAN. Your wife's savings... my guess is and you can ask her strait up if you want, she'd rather use that money keeping you guys safe, sound and secure then on anything else. Then you gotta figure out how to stay out of the whole, that should be the fun part, you might have to rely on the family for a bit, but you'll come out of it on top.



Thats prolly scattered thoughts and rambling, but maybe it will make some sense.



So go home load them up in the car and head to the beach, catch a sunset, pack some sandwiches and enjoy the site and the company. Total cost is basically nothing. Take some time to relish what you have, not what you don't.

i'm anti-pickle

Goddamn phins... Almost made me cry!

Amen brother, Amen!!!

Well said, man.



Your intuition freaks me out sometimes. Right when I got back from lunch, the wife called. She suggested we do something fun tonight, to cheer up. I think we might just do that. https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/bigok.gif

It's almost a culture thing if you think about it. Americans focusing on what they don't have, to some degree it may be what has helped the country strive, produce and grow, but in the same respect it has stunted our happiness. When previous generations say "Life was simpler then" it isn't all that accurate of a statement. Culture changed, maybe it complicated, but in reality a lot of people have decided "things" are what make them happy, which is the profecy of an unobtainable dream. With each possession you get, there's another to be had, a better one. Everything in excess, but I don't think you'll ever be happy no matter how many or how grand the possesion. There are people half way around the world happy with fewer possesions.



Happiness from possesions is fleeting.

yah, go and do it. while you might be 39 5 times, you're only 21 once



mike

Give me a sunset and my woman in my arms over a trip to the movies or a night out ANY day and like I said, the price is right.

BTW, the blue angels quote is from John Hiatt.



It was just funny, when I was watching the Blue Angels flying overhead in their tight formation.



In fact to some degree I guess the statement is right in line with with the topic.

i missed this one and its interesting, because the europeans have a better balance (usually) in that reguard. we were in france for 10 days and nobody asked what my job was, they just dont care. its your job, you're supposed to do it well, but its not who you are, to a point.



mike

Same here...extremely well said.



I had a big response to this typed out and it didn't go through, so here's the summary:



It's all about the people, and every time you remember that, things will get better. I have the bad habit of acting like an ******* when things get tough with money, cars, school and work, but for some reason my friends let it slide. It's not fair of me to burden them with my issues, but it's a natural reaction, I guess. I have some of the best friends in the world, and they've been pulling overtime lately showing me how true they are. I just hope I can do the same for them when the time comes.



Oh, and if friends don't do it for you, just think about family. There's NOTHING that can bother me after looking at pics like these pics of my sister's kids:

http://www.theoswegocarters.com/upload/gapboys.jpg

http://www.theoswegocarters.com/upload/shaepool.jpg



Being 1000 miles away from them always gives me something to look forward to, and although it's tough, every thought of them makes me smile. I've gotten pretty lucky as far as family goes too, and they always go the extra mile and I do my best to show appreciation. My parents have helped me more than I wanted to ask for, and I pretty much owe my life (besides literally) to them and their constant support.

Yes, having spent some time in heart of mexico, not your americanized border town I can say that family is number 1, helping them when they are down and being helped by tthem when they are up.



What happens when a family member becomes homeless? You move him in and you start building him a new place. Any person that can sit on the beach with a smile on his face an hour after his house took flight from a hurricane because none of his family was hurt has got my admiration.