Real messages lmfao who the **** made the calls to consumer help to get half of these needed??



On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.



On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.



On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.



On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.



On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.



In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)



On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO **** DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.



In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.



On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?



On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.



On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)



On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)



On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)



On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)



On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)



On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)



On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (OK...)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)



On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)



On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)



On some frozen dinners - SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.



On packaging for a Rowenta iron - DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.



On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine - DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)



On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

Holy Cow that's some funny ****!

On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)



i fucked spit up my water when i read that. fuggin funny man, but it cant be real. if it is, that is sad....

On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)



On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)



In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)



LMFAO :bigok:

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)



LMAO!

On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO





ROFLMAO :bigok: maybe thats why my house blew away, i guess i should have used something other than those blankets to cover it

"On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO **** DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET"



i like how they tell you to keep quiet, and stoppping chainsaws with my genitals was fun too



mike

you can tell thats from japan where else would they describe something as "like a sword-guard"

haha, or like the reverse of sporty feel



mike

had those instructions handy?