Fabio Rides Roller Coaster Again; Hit In Face By Cell Phone!





Thursday, August 07, 2008





In an attempt to "...prove to himself and the world he was no longer afraid." and "In order to complete my recovery.", Fabio Lanzoni, the Italian male model, boarded the Jackson, NJ Six Flags Great Adventure Kingda Ka, the tallest and fastest public roller coaster in the world. Fabio suffered the unfortunate fate on March 30, 1999 of getting creamed in the face by a goose while riding Apollo's Chariot roller coaster at Busch Gardens Williamsburg, VA. It was unclear at the time of that unfortunate accident if Fabio's modeling career could continue, but he did make a full recovery.



Sadly, Fabio's luck with roller coasters hasn't changed. He was nearly knocked unconscious about 3/4 of the way through the Kingda Ka ride by a cell phone. After colliding with the male model's left cheek the phone shattered, sending fragments into his left eye. "He's lost his left eye for sure and suffered a lot of bruising on the left side of his face. Cat scans show he did experience a small concussion as well" - Dr. Emmet Grubber of Centrastate Medical Center, Freehold, NJ





A spokesman for Fabio said "he(Fabio) plans on giving up the modeling career for good and doesn't want any pictures taken." Fabio's doctors and plastic surgeons said they were, "not sure how to proceed... given the current mental state Fabio is in". An unnamed intern assistant at Centrastate Medical Center claims Fabio was experiencing extreme phobia's to several things remotely associated to his recent, and previous coaster accidents. "...any small electronic devices especially cell phones and pagers... We had to sedate him heavily to move him from one floor to the next because of the elevator... He just went crazy and [started] screaming when a bird flew by outside the window. I've never seen a person so disturbed. Even rustling paper sends him into a panic attack. We'll probably need to shut down the parking lot shuttle service when he leaves next week."





Investigators are having a hard time piecing together what remains of the phone. "At this point we're not even sure what brand or model of phone it is. Although we are treating this an accident, we would like to find and question the phone's owner. The person who lost their phone on the ride needs to do the right thing and step forward." - Jackson, NJ Police Investigator Susan Fisher







ABS Press Service. 08/08/2008

Wow, as funny as that is, that sucks! Talk about bad luck.

Holy ****...

i kinda feel sorry for the guy, for one I'm sure it took a lot to overcome that fear only to find out it's a very well founded one! AND because the ******* idiot doesn't have much going for him beyond his looks and no one wants a disfigured one-eyed dumbshit shilling their fake butter.

omg you guys are sick funny lol yeah it was on kingda ka right after the sick take off i bet who ever it hit got pretty fucked up i called it imediatly after the ride and it was off as it still remains in peices stuck to fabios face lol

ha ha yea, needs to do the right thing my ass, I wouldn't be calling the cops to ask about yer phone if I were you. ******* fabio will be sueing you for ruining his life.

yerah its a good thing none of it is registered on connected to my name... mr mclovin will have **** to pay lol

i wonder if it's still technically a "phobia" since the last two times he's been on a rollercoaster he's gotten fucked up.

yeah i wonder if hes now truamatized by phones lol