I just fucked up the vacume cleaner. I smashed it to pieces in a moment of muscular dis-coordination due to rage. Son of a bitch wouldn't develop enough suction to get me off, of course the hose was pretty loose around my dagling member. https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...O_DIR#>/ar.gif

Why am I finding none of this even remotely surprising?

funny thing is, it was a BOY vacuum cleaner

https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683664.gif Dan, dan, dan....... *shakes head*

I see someone has edited my post.



Well anyways, it wouldn't go from hose to floor.

[quote name='94touring' date='Aug 4 2005, 10:56 PM']I see someone has edited my post.



Well anyways, it wouldn't go from hose to floor.


[/quote]



Wait, are you saying that your dangling member goes all the way to the floor?

hahaha

[quote name='1988RedT2' date='Aug 5 2005, 04:07 AM']Wait, are you saying that your dangling member goes all the way to the floor?


[/quote]



Depending on the atmospheric pressure, yes.



Picture of the abuse.

LMAO

looks like the leftovers of a fd teardown.



kevin.

I scream obsenties and point my pistol at my PS2 when the other cars on GT4's rally race keep hitting and penalizing me.

[quote name='sweet7' date='Aug 5 2005, 03:19 PM']I scream obsenties and point my pistol at my PS2 when the other cars on GT4's rally race keep hitting and penalizing me.


[/quote]



I'm sure everyone does that. You're okay, really. https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...1047683246.gif

Wow must have sucked to have been that vacume

Like the shoes!



Mark

[quote name='teknics' date='Aug 5 2005, 04:00 PM']looks like the leftovers of a fd teardown.



kevin.


[/quote]



haha!

[quote name='inanimate_object' date='Aug 5 2005, 03:17 PM']Like the shoes!



Mark


[/quote]



10 1/2's. You know what they say about guys with big shoes.

[quote name='94touring' date='Aug 6 2005, 01:35 AM']10 1/2's. You know what they say about guys with big shoes.


[/quote]

Big feet?



Mark

Precisely.

[quote name='94touring' date='Aug 5 2005, 07:35 PM']10 1/2's. You know what they say about guys with big shoes.


[/quote]



That their buttcheeks look like vine-ripened tomatoes?

I have 12 1/2's....

I bring the 13's....bitches!

Fine!! My penis is 7 1/2 inches!!!

[quote name='Baldy' date='Aug 6 2005, 01:36 PM']I bring the 13's....bitches!


[/quote]

Dittos! -1

A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe Some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.



He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."



At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. "A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"



He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."



Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"



He declines again. "Naw, still not hungry."



"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.



"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only $20."



"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.



"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity".



"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.



Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman. "F.... me, a new brothel and a new madam".



"I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the woman trying not to laugh.



A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.



"Un freaking-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.



"Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.



A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home.



"In freaking- credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients .... How ya doin', Dave?"



Silence

my shoe size is a 15



kevin.

can i see it kevin?

Come on!

if i had a camera by me id take a pic of the label in my shoe.



i have to order out of catalogs, which is nice tho no one has had their disgusting feet in my shoes when i get them delivered to me https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/smile.png.



my feet are proportioned to my body tho, im 6'7" so if i had a size 9 foot itd be odd.



kevin.

teknics is huge

[quote name='ColinRX7' date='Aug 7 2005, 08:22 AM']teknics is huge


[/quote]



Probably explains why his brain is the size of a walnut.

[quote name='94touring' date='Aug 7 2005, 05:26 PM']Probably explains why his brain is the size of a walnut.


[/quote]

Ooooohh!









We need a new poll called "How big is your shioe size."



Mark

[quote name='94touring' date='Aug 7 2005, 11:26 AM']Probably explains why his brain is the size of a walnut.


[/quote]



yea im an idiot, i wont bother bragging to prove otherwise tho.



kevin.

I wnated to see the dong!

[quote name='Baldy' date='Aug 6 2005, 01:36 PM']I bring the 13's....bitches!


[/quote]

I seriously don't remember posting this. Must've been the percocet I was on for a couple days.

you guys = the funnies x eleventy billion https://www.nopistons.com/forums/pub...IR#>/bigok.gif