NoPistons -Mazda Rx7 & Rx8 Rotary Forum

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE BEER DRINKER'S SOUL:

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and

all

of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out

of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is

better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be

selfish and worry about my liver."

Jack Handy

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the

morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

Frank Sinatra

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"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with

his fools."

Ernest Hemingway

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Henny Youngman

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

Stephen Wright

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we

all asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is

beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the

heel

does not go nearly as well with pizza."

Dave Barry

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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of

"Cheers": One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the

Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm,

it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest

buffalo.

And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the

back

that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a

whole,

because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving

by the regular killing of the> weakest members. In much the same way, the

human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

Excessive

intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it

attacks

the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular

consumption

of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and

more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few

beers."